Trauma therapy after death and loss: Introduction
Death is well known as one of the top three traumas that a person can experience. When a person close to you dies, the impact of the shock affects you as a “person in total”. “Person in total” means that it can affect every part of your life (or at least some parts). For this reason, it is recommended that a person seeks trauma therapy after death, or a loss.
Trauma therapy after death and loss: Person as a whole
Examples of the various parts of a person are:
Emotional being
– anxiousness / aggressiveness / having a bad feeling in your stomach / dry mouth / hypersensitive for noises.
Physical state
– without any feelings / alone / shocked / guilty.
Social state
– irritated between people (even between friends) / withdraw into yourself / want to be left alone.
Thoughts
– confused / forgetful / problems to concentrate / dreaming / feels the presence of your loved one.
Behaviour
– sleeping problems / restless / change in eating patterns / tearful / avoid memories of your loved one.
Trauma therapy after death and loss: Do and Don’t
How to handle a grieving person:
DONT’S
– talk too much (to hide your own uncertainties);
– say things like: * God has picked the most beautiful flower in the garden; *
– your’e parent was old, it’s not so bad;
– things will get better;
– pull yourself together;
– handle your friend different from what you did in the past (he has a need to be treated as normal).
DO’S
– Just be there: give a hug (don’t say anything, because you are probably as stunned as the grieving person himself;
– visit the grieving person again in future (he’ll need you even more than now);
– let him know on special days, for example his loved one’s birthday / Christmas, that you think of him (not just a once off);
– invite your friend for a coffee / nice outing (keep on asking – even if he refuses to go; tell him that you really want to have coffee with him);
Trauma therapy after death and loss: what’s next
In my next post, I will talk about 7 ways to deal with your own grieving process.
Keep well!
